OKAY good thing about today. OR tonight rather. i think i really helped my mom quite abit. i really hope i did so.

i was helping her massage her legs and we just started talking. okay actually to be frank with everyone my mom is actually suffering from depression. yeah lotsa things happened in the family and she is kinda taking things to hard on herself and stuff like that la. yeah i have been talking to her (on an irregular basis) but i doubt anything that i have said actually managed to change her thinking about life. she was actually getting out of depression already the past few months but somehow the past week was just kinda trying. yeah she even cried yesterday complaining to my sis, dad and aunt just how bad life is...and what's the meaning of living...

and so today i think i was lucky enough because she had actually managed to free her mind better, if not no matter how gifted my influential skills are she won't be moved. yeah so it's a lucky day for both of us. i told mom about my dream - it is set around a very large swimming pool at our future bungalow's backyard. we are having a party with families and friends and my parents are sitting on the deck chairs playing with their grandchildren, then people will be going to them telling them how great their son is, and i will be very happy looking at their proud faces...

hahaha yeah i then gave my mom a mission to complete this month: to find out what's her life goal. and be specific about it (hahah sounds familiar right, SALLY?) like down to the very small details of the things that she wanted. i wanted mom to have a goal in life again. not to live for the moment, but to have a sustainable goal that will keep her living (physically and spiritually). hahah she must be really happy how much her son has changed for the better. i am certain she was moved by what i said just now, and i am certain that i myself was proud that i have taken this really huge leap forward to know my mother better, even to the extent of influencing her. i was telling her how it felt as if she was my daughter. HAHA!

another thing to know about me. i do not know my dad well enough. i seldom talk to him. i even disliked him a little for not taking really great care of the family in the past. my goal this month is to understand him better. at least know what his favourite food and number is. HAHAH

oh well. LOOOOOOOOONG post from me. but i really learnt alot these 2 weeks.