Monday, April 20, 2009

omg. chi-square is killing me! hahaha

laughter and exercise are really the best medicine! hahah just came back from a jog around campus and watched xman and laughed like mad. the golden fishery was damn funny also! hhahahahahahah

ok better study finish stats today!!! ahaahahahhhahahaaha JIAYOU!

was watching the golden fishery on youtube with dbsk on it. although i don't really understand their parodies and puns but i still think that it's UBER HILARIOUS! hahaha go catch it!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

自创曲 for exam! :) needs to improve on the piano!

jianhao is going to become myopic from the strong desk light.

oh accounting and stats have been growing on me. too bad i only realisd that they were interesting subjects until 1 day before the exams. HAHH! sad right! must appreciate next sem's modules and do my homework and participate more in class! hahahah why am i saying all these before my acct paper tml! ok shall go back to the books after my short break :P

only halfway through the lectures and tutorials when the test is tml!!! argh. HAHHAHA

i will be in my element after 1130 on friday! hahahahah!!!

JUST 5 MORE DAYS!!!

anyway just wanna say that VS was really worth it. i think i found myself there! hahahah i found where my passion lies. now it's left to the external locuses to decide whether i can succeed! hahaha the internal locus is working hard! jianhao just wanna be happy.

okay. less crapping. back to mugging!

ah har. damn nice song for everyone! :)

Proud
DBSK

足早に通り過ぎてく
どれだけの季節 過ぎたんだろう
見慣れた景色を歩いて
遠い記憶から 一人抜け出せないまま

行き場を失いそうな…
そんなとき君と出逢った

この街で めぐりあった
今も忘れないよ あの日から
たくさんの悲しみとか 潜んだ不安 全てを
君のぬくもりで思い出に変えた Proud of your love

拾った二つの貝殻
もう一度君にあえたような奇蹟
君がそばに居てくれたら
心の奥まで優しい気持ちになれる

激しい雨が降っても
強い風が吹く中でも

この愛を 守りぬける
君とならきっと越えられる
そう初めてそう思えたから この手を放さないように
ずっと大切に大切にして

この街で めぐりあった
今も忘れないよ あの日から
生きること 信じること 悦びに変えながら
いつまでも二人 共に歩こう Proud of your love

april is ending. :)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

ahahha and here i am... still unsure of how to study for accounting II!!! :(

argh really can't wait for the end of exams!!! then i can do the things that i want to do. the list is ENDLESS. hahaha

wants to write better lyrics, like fang wen shan!!!! haha needs better chinese!!!!!

ok just finished stats tutorial 5. omy i am lagging....

Thursday, April 16, 2009

composing is really much easier with korean syllables!! i just need the lyrics!!! ahahahaha i promise i will let you guys hear it someday!!! hahhaahah!

anyway mugged for 4 hours with eugene today. totally shagged. yes, only 4 hours! but really tiring!!! hahahahah will restart again tml and aim to finish the remaining 3 chapters of stats + start on accounting...:)

OK SLEEP!!:)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

just finished the mini assignment to be handed up next next week. HAHHA if only i was that fast for everything! hahaahahahahha

oh well. this morning's ob paper was okay la. at least i managed to finish everything on time! hahahah

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

yay productive day! hahahah and i got the video from iris already! hahah go check out facebook! :D

did some studying in the seminar room today with eugene. argh i think i study better when i sneeze. was having runny nose the entire DAY. SIAAANNNNZzzzzz

Monday, April 13, 2009

just returned from the unplugged session.

met raq at 5plus to practise the instruments part. hahaha oh i must say my PIANO part was not bad!! hahahaha must be the practising! hahaha oh yeah then suddenly we saw jj's shadow at the corridor, and juno and vicky who were in the room with us ran out and took a photo with him. i was in the 'let's practise' mood with raquel and didn't give a damn. i REGRET it now! hahahah

oh well anyway vs4 did great!!!! mika was supposed to be taking her papers at 7pm but we saw her at 7 plus at ob! i was telling raq that she may have seen a ghost! hahaha raq, geraldine and i were super touched when we saw her just now la!!! mika said she just finished one qns and handed up the paper immediately. hahahahaha oh mika's voice really rocked la. if we didn't have her i think everything wouldn't be as nice. HAHHA raq and geraldine rocked too! hahahha just don't be nervous on stage! (winks)


that's me playing the piano on the left! hahah

daryl, wenhao, vicky and juno's group's guitar girl was good! hahaha quite ownage. zach's and bryan's group was also very good. bryan even kneeled down after getting touched by this girl in his team. HAHAHA i think they confirm top 3 lor. HAHHHA
haiz if only jun yang and jiong shun can give more comments!!!! :P

oh yeah and all the best to clarence who will be going to tekong for the first time TML! hahhaahah all the best dude!

waiting eagerly for the pics and videos to be uploaded by my classmates! hahahah

I REALLY ENJOYED SINGING and PLAYING THE PIANO! hahahaah i wanna sing and play the piano like zach! woohoo!

in the spirit of OB, jianhao also wants to do a johari window! hahah

http://kevan.org/johari?name=jianhao

hahaha ming zhi stayed over in our room to do his video on the friendly ghost. HAHAHA thanks for the mcbreakfast!

ahhhh having a little bit of a cold from the aircon last night. shit. later howwwwwwwww.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

just watched patch adams. really good show. lip yong you should go and watch! hahaha

oh my. tml's the big day! hahahah.

yay felt a litte bit more motivated after inputing some acct revision notes. :)

anyway was watching 2 episodes of amazing race on tv in the afternoon. it's really amazing how the show can carry on for so many seasons!!!! hahaha i really enjoy the show man. i wanna go bungee jumping and paragliding in europe!!! hahaah

Saturday, April 11, 2009

donated blood today! they should keep having more blood donation drives at the cc downstairs! hahah then i can go down every 3 months! ahahah

ok at least that's one productive thing i did today. was trying the stats paper just now... totally no clue what's going on. DIE. i have been using too many DIEs nowadays. hahaha

oh yeah choir test was alright la. actually thought we did quite well. and it was fun playing the pop songs on piano with priscillia during our practice! hahah i just can't believe how some ppl can catch chords so easily while i simply don't have the gift. :(

i hate exam periods. i just keep having this guilty tingling feeling in my heart every time i play the piano, watch the tv, or listen to music.


全世界都停电 tank

连你都会残忍隔绝我的心能要谁了解
眼中烛光摇晃着熄灭为何把我推向边缘
被砸坏了的一切卡住了我让我无法往前
囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间
单独隔离寂寞地盘旋

全世界都停了电全世界都封了街
我所有窗子外面被贴上黑夜
我呐喊思念却没人听见
绝望到极点剩的是疲倦
全世界都停了电全世界白雪满天
才发觉在我心间有回忆碎片
一作梦翻身就刺痛流血
我卷着身体缩成一个圈
像一个句点

i first heard this song during earth hour week - so i initially thought that it was a 'save the world' song! hahahah how silly.

oh and how can i miss such a nice jay chou song -

花海

静止了所有的花开
遥远了清晰了爱
天郁闷爱却很喜欢
那时候我不懂这叫爱

你喜欢站在那窗台
你好久都没再来
彩色的时间染上空白
是你流的泪晕开

不要你离开
距离隔不开
思念变成海
在窗外进不来
原谅说太快
爱成了阻碍
手中的风筝放太快回不来

不要你离开
回忆划不开
欠你的宠爱
我在等待重来
天空仍灿烂
它爱着大海
情歌被打败
爱已不存在

Friday, April 10, 2009

FINALLY! the comp is back! woohoo!

had vs4 prac at raquel's place this morning. we brushed up on alot of the scores. now it sounds much more complete! yeah mika kept telling me to improve on my piano...but i have my limitations also la! hahahah nvm i will send sendy the recording tml and see what she says...i think it's okay!

hahah i am so gonna screw up this sem's exams. HAHAHA anyway i think i understand how it feels to sing and play at the same time. time for jamming! hahahah

oh yeah went to ob's recording studio on thur! hahahah exciting! then during piano lesson with sendy i kinda screwed up wo niu. OH WELL!!! practise more! and memorise!!!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

erm. at pacific coffee below ocean butterfly now. my laptop crashed (yikes!!!) this morning and i had no chance to do anything on the computer.

hmmmm studying sux too. i want to go and do something. just got back my papers. okay i wanna try to sum up my results thus far.

AA102 Accounting II
Written Test (20%) - 56/100 -> C+?
Written Assignment(20%) - B-
Class Participation (10%) - ???
Semester Exam (50%) - ???

AB103 Statistics
Case Study 1 (4.5%) - A
Case Study 2 (4.5%) - ???
Mid-term Assessment 1 (10%) - 7/14 -> C+
Mid-term Assessment 2 (10%) -
Class Participation (6%) - ???
Semester Exam (65%) - ???

AB105 Organisational Behaviour and Design
Group Presentation (10%) - B+
Mid-term Assessment (20%) - C+
Written Report (20%) - A

AB112 Marketing
Presentation - Case (10%) - ???
Presentation - Project (20%) - ???
Individual Report (20%) - ???

Yup pretty much in the doldrums. HAHAHA DIE. i really wanna stop le.

Monday, April 06, 2009

better post something before IE crashes AGAIN.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

my parents said that i have been singing too much. bah it's true. but i just can't help it.


had dance test(??hhahaha) at ocean butterfly today with teacher 小珂 today. she had long hair today! hahahah anyway the dance moves were sorta challenging! have to break dance on the floor one! hahah madness. anyway she mentioned that i am totally not relaxed and didn't give my all. hahah i beg to differ! i totally gave it all, but it's dance the non-dance genes in me that was causing all the blunders. HAHHA anyway after dance class had to work on 如果爱情 again. luckily we did the arrangements and part designation today. i think i will send them the updated chord progression later! :D

Saturday, April 04, 2009

just returned from dinner with vc peeps at botak jones. food was good. service was good. :)

Friday, April 03, 2009

tapas was quite disappointing as compared to last week's desserts! hahahah oh was trying to do the chording for 如果爱情 just now. hahah i just realised the chords are easy to get! that's why i could do it so quickly! hahahah i was trying to do baby baby and so sick just now. NOTHING CAME OUT. :(

alright. and so i was a little bit grumpier the past few days. HHAHAHA

received 3 hoaxes on april fool's. first thing in the morning with alicia telling me that she would be heading back to kl that day. second one during marketing class. then the third one when ben told me that marcus told him that sue lynn is in hospital and whether we should visit her. :P

oh yeah was at ocean butterfly yesterday and hong jun yang was our teacher for the unplugged session. yah and we were supposed to catch the chords (which i sorta had the gift for! hahahah) for this newly composed song and i had to play the piano (which i totally suck at). the performance is on the 13th, just 2 days before my OB paper. SHIT happens. HAHHAH but nvm will work hard for everything.

anyway had our last ob lesson with chi ching. okay la. she's really not a bad person. it's just that her lessons do not value-add very much. but she's really intrinsically warm and caring. hahha and so we took some photos with her before we parted.

oh yeah tapas at bakerzin later in the afternoon! i am saving my stomach for that! heehee

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

jianhao doesn't even like having ppl around him now. though he really needs help. :(

hahah so emo.

i may have just reached the lowest point in life with the onset of the stupid stats case study. and exams coming up. and no more naruto to watch. and couping myself up in my room all day. and i haven't practised my dance and piano for vs4. i am so dead. :(

maybe it's time to break some sweat.

Sunday, March 29, 2009



just returned to hall from teacher sherlyn's house. HAHAH had very singer gathering. played games and ate food and sang and listen to jj's video and sherlyn's performance. ahahah oh man everyone is so unbelievably nice! i think i am very evil in comparison. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA



jj's concert was a blast with alicia and friends and 3+1 and eugene. HAHAH

JJ's my idol! i just didn't really like his babies and the dj part. but nvm i managed to guess the order for most of the songs! how zai!

anyway my stats quiz is ultimate cui. i haven't started studying for the other 4 chapters and i got a bbq to attend later. DIEEEE.

Friday, March 27, 2009

HAHAAH zach, clarence and i made a ballad out of 不潮不用花钱. we had some disagreements at first. (i think still having alittle now...) hahhah but oh well bth of us compromised. HAHA. oh i suck at playing the piano!! :(

不潮不用花钱

hey greedy,don't fret
what you see is what you get
you name it,i have it
what you see is what you get

左左左左偏左就用左手
生活就不用想太多
怦怦怦怦心动张开眼睛
就记得当下的强烈

有时灵光一闪而过
牛顿也吃苹果
我的念头不太罗嗦
限时间能入座

请你不要到处叩叩
潮流需要抠抠不小心就没抠抠
用力到处扣扣花掉所有抠抠
钱买不到绝活

你说听说听说你听谁说
跟着乱走闹哄哄
通通通通普通普通
如果不懂不要随便拒绝

有时灵光一闪而过
牛顿也吃苹果
我的念头不太罗嗦
限时间能入座

请你不要到处叩叩
潮流需要抠抠不小心就没抠抠
用力到处扣扣花掉所有抠抠
钱买不到绝活

little chick having chips on my sofa
bearbricxs take a shit on my sofa
smudge babies lying on my sofa
neighborhxxds and kiks singing "so-fa"

HAHAH it's really funny! and we are performing it this sunday at sherlyn's house. HAHAH and JJ MAY BE THERE!!!! ok better not get my hopes too high. HAHHAHAHA

oh just had yummy ah lian bee hoon and mango dessert. MUAHAHAHAHAH

shit i think i had 10 episodes of naruto today. my stats studying plan failed terribly

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

gotta stand beside joshua's friend and ethel's sister lynette ngiam today during choir. HAHHA quite funny.

oh well but still i hate nie choir lessons. SO BORING and the conductor sux. i gave him lotsa 1/5 for his appraisals. damn bad la. HAHHAA

anyway just came back from joel's birthday party at west coast. gotta see my 4-4 gang again (minus mel and bran and sam)! yeah more outings and dinners!!! :)


i have this big patch of blue-black on my left knee. OUCH.

omg i have another weird stranger encounter on the bus to joel's bbq!!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

been crazy over naruto these days. MUAHAHAH

am damn shagged from purple line. oh saw xu huan liang lao shi just now. he suddenly popped by the dance studio. HAHAH
OCCASIONAL muscle aches kinda rock. i feel fresher now.

yup will need to mug hard for exams!!!!

gotta do my stats tutorial tml in the morning... HAHAH

wikihow: "A general rule of thumb for simple tunes would be to have the bass note of the chord to be a third below the note in the melody. "

wensi just told me that i am always in my own world. i think that's very true. it's not a good thing right. :P

Monday, March 23, 2009

sleep early, rise early.

yay.

anyway i remember eugenia and i were saying how much we miss nichole and her performance of 'desperado'. it was classic.

hahah i love occassional muscle aches!

oh man i was looking through stats lect 10 on analysis of variance. HELP ME!!!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

wah liao ultimate shag!

i do believe i have no dance genes. hahaha

oh yeah yesterday's horny night was very funny! tenors rocked! woohoo!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

jianhao likes the D major.

yay he thinks he can sing and play a few songs by himself already! woohoo!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

vs4: finally managed to learn quite a bit of stuff from sherlyn and sendy. warm-ups and how to reach high notes and staccato exercises. sendy thought me how to play the piano score for wo niu better. i was really happy when she told me that my first time was quite good. :) WOOAHH. hahah and she is very zai! ok i need to prac at home on my keyboard on friday night. :)

hall video was good. really brought back alot of memories though i wasn't inside much of it.

oh man hall life is coming to an end i guess...

oh man i can't believe there's vs4 again on sunday! and it's a dance class! how exciting!

listening to Wang Lee Hom's 脚本 now. NAISE!

脚本

你爱得好有趣就像一个编剧
你的一举一动都谱写着未来
世界也太乏味更需要编的很美
像第一次见面的场景

从来不曾怀疑牵你渡过了瓶颈
多希望创造一个美好的结局
用最真的感觉慢慢一页一页写
我只期待你陪我演完

我们的脚本要写的好认真
我已经看过太多的悲剧
能给一点点笑就算是笑中带泪
我也无所谓无所谓

你的一颦一言都谱写着未来
思念也太乏味更需要编的很美
像第一次分手的场景
我也无所谓

看完这个脚本陷得好深好深
要我如何演好爱你的人
故事里男主角剧终时泪中带笑
而他知道这最好

wu jianhao is going to be the next music man!

oh eugene and wensi were practising lucky in my room yesterday until 3AM (!!!) eugene and i attempted to learn a new english song in a long time... hahah yah and i was trying to strum the guitar! ok at least i got the chords right i hope. HAHA!

oh yes. and i hope my play-and-sing 蜗牛 can make it later in the evening.

oh yah on a naruto fever now. granny chiyo just died in the show from saving gaayo!!!! sAdness...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

thanks everyone for coming down to support your friend here during luna just now! hahaha i didn't really sing very well, though i really enjoyed the time on stage (except during the high notes!) hahahah. yeah you guys really rock. the name board kinda gave me a shock at first though. HAHAHAHA

yeah the other guys were really good! like everlyn said competition's really stiff. HAHHHA i must work extra hard!

anyway i think i am going to jj's concert! hahahahahah but that would actually mean that i will be missing tenor dinner leh....OH NO...

oh naruto can only be watched in the day. the night internet connection is too slowwwwwwwwwww

Monday, March 16, 2009

wah liao can't believe i am falling sick the day before luna. DIEEEEEE

anyway eugenia is pretty damn good! hahaha

quite proud that i managed to churn out the 3 financial statements together with their notes in 100 mins. although the figures didn't tally but i am still satisfied. i guess i am easily satisfied.

now that the acct quiz is over, the world is a better place to be in.

singpost just called to say that they are SORRY (i am sure) and they will re-deliver (for the 3rd time) the parcel to my neighbour's place this evening. GOOD they better do.

gtg for marketing meeting in 10 mins time. and it's going to rain. so i guess it will have to be 1 min. TATA!

pre-comp stress. SHIT. hahaha

Good Morning, World!

I am learning how to prepare financial statements now.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

jianhao realised how screwed he is - he has only been to 3/9 stats lecture and tutorials. exams' coming up in a week...BAH

oh i just went for a run just now. it felt great!

i realised i can't multi-task at all. i need to handle one thing at a time. school vs choir vs family vs friends vs singing vs me-time.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

okay. needs to just let the voice come out. it sounds perfectly alright.

okay study time from 10pm - 11pm. if you don't start you will KIAO KIAO.

BTK.

OMG.

That's damn hard. more to come.

needs to study for acct quiz!

Friday, March 13, 2009

翻不完的夏天

好天气 艳阳高照 的天
拥抱着你的白色T恤
单车路 笑声传的 好远
平凡的爱情开满原野

杂货店 大榕树的 下面
摘朵蒲公英放你胸前
用可乐 冰你温暖 的脸
你的笑总是意外的甜

果 实酸酸 的气味
谁都难拒绝
谁都不能拒绝
我 想大声 说爱谁
却被你 抢先

我爱你一页又再一页
翻不完你我的夏天
两人边 跳边走 的季节
干干净净的 画面
我爱你爱得不知不觉

deciding what songs to sing for luna. need to have a fast and a slow song. what do they mean by fast/slow? hahahaha

Thursday, March 12, 2009

nv do internet transaction with Singpost. it sux. their it facility sux.

went to visit mms in the afternoon. oh man i miss working at a hotel... hahaha

ob lessons was kinda scary. my teachers were a lil on the bitchy+heck-care style...hmmm not good. i need to get a piano song out for next week's piano lesson. was thinking of wo niu.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

just went for luna briefing, and guess who i saw??? - eugenia and bee kwee. how small can the world be. HAAHAHAH

i really DISLIKE CHOIR ELECTIVE IN NTU. ahahah prof chia kinda sux, and the songs sux...jj says that it is becuz i am biased towards VC. well, OF CUZ!

got supper treat by yingguang just now. had oc supper items like prata hotdog (OMG) and nuggest (OMG) and peach and green apple drinks (OMG). hahahaha before that i had pork chop while ben had chicken chop. oh and there were these 2 red bull ladies (ermmm..) going around giving out red bulls. (darts eyes & evil grins)

been watching 'how i met your mother' for a while (all thanks to kiat!) and i am addicted. shit. off to season 2 episode 8 now. correction. ep 9.

celebrated charmaine aka eye candy's 20th birthday yesterday with the other cheerleaders at the link bridge between block c and d. FINALLY no more cake-smashing. but we had to help her finish up this drink consisting of coffee, oatmeal, digestives, kopiko ...(yes still alright up till here)... sprite, milk, vodka, ribena. but it was okay... really...

had marketing presentation this morning. oh man we suck. we just couldn't get the point thru. I wanna kill ourselves already.

anyway left my harddisk at the FAL. had to RUN ALL THE WAY back to get it. OH MAN MY PRECIOUS...

i almost jumped when i though that i am supposed to have visited alicia and jo at mms. BUT IT'S ON THURS. okay i am freaking myself out.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

just returned from kim min's cake- and whipped cream-smashing bday party. OH man. it's damn disgusting. i have choc for ear wax.

Monday, March 09, 2009

my prediction came true! there was indeed a solar absorption panel above singapore. that explains why it's so cold today! well done!

and as usual. we all have TONNES of stuffs to clear.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Solar Energy

thought that there was getting less and less meaning in maintaining this blog.

hahah anyway while my dad was driving me back to hall half an hour ago, i was thinking about why solar energy hasn't been harnessed well enough. esp in Singapore! we should learn how to get rid of all that heat and turn it into useful energy! then singapre can be in perpetual spring or autumn. WHEEEE

ok so what's inhibiting this technological transition? issit cost? or issit technology itself?

(imagines a big reflective bowl above singapore on a monday afternoon with singaporeans wearing 2 layers of clothing in a 24degc environment.)

ok....

had the first VC prac yesterday. so many new and old faces! hhahah

went to katong shopping centre for dinner. had chicken rice

then we went to esplanade's harry's. oh i was supposed to go e-awards with sandy...but i kinda pangsay-ed her for drinks and ghost stories...EEEK! hahaha anyway i saw alicia and jerrick they all who also went for the award ceremony. oh man i miss them. AHAHAHAH

Saturday, March 07, 2009

okay time to blog!

life nowadays have been pretty much revolving around project meetings and singing. hahah luckily 50% of it is entertaining.

haven't been doing well academically lately. OB results sux.

VC tml. shit i have no time to mug! hahahahahah. and no time to finish my projects on sunday.

LUNA is on the 17th Mar. i am representing hall 3 in it! hahahahahaha

Thursday, March 05, 2009

baaaaah just completed acct essay.

i don't like the way i live now.

thanks for all the support yesterday! ahahaha

bought supper back from 179 and i met the infamous Ah-lian. quite chio as they have said. then we watched valkyrie in daniel's room with my newly-earned pair of speakers. but the movie was boring. HAHHAHAHA

am doing acct proj now. due tml. DAMN. hahaah i want to have my dinner!!!!

and will be having 9-hour seminar tml. 8.30 to 5.30. Jialat.

i am feeling the drift. i want to lead a life but school doesn't allow for it.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

just had hall bbq :) hahah quite fun

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

loves the weather now:)

oh man there was a stabbing incident in my school yesterday.

anyway yesterday's class performance was SCARY! the others were FREAKING ZAI. i need to work hard. should learn to sing and play the piano next time! hahahaah

Monday, March 02, 2009

Hai-lo.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

jianhao is finding the direction in life.

jianhao has promised himself not to gorge on food anymore.
jianhao has promised himself that he will try to love his family more.
jianhao has promised to take charge of his own life.

woohoo! wahlermak came in 2nd at impresario finals! well done dudes! you guys have worked really hard for it! yes and we cheered really loudly too! hahahahah

oh. it's the 1st day of march already.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

okay i just messed up our korea video by overwriting the one at the embassy with our 'no man' video on the bus. YESH KILL ME PLS.

anyway HAPPY 21st / 5.25th to MARCUS!!!!! woohoo!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

latest infatuation with food:

wholemeal bread + cheese + butter + bacon bits = Heaven

just watched slumdog millionaire. quite a good plot. it takes creativity to come up with a good storyline. either that or a stroke of genius.

jianhao has a secret - he HATES to check NTUmail. HATES it.

kapo-ed this quiz from pockthong's blog:
What is your True Fear?
Your Result: Being Alone

While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.

Losing Someone
Disappointment
Death
Where Your life is Going
Looked down on
Commitment
What'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_true_fear">What is your True Fear?
Quiz'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz


TRUE TRUE.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

just went for mb. i hope it's just the first lesson which is boring. i wanna sing very soon! okay next monday next monday....:)

jianhao is about to have his dinner.

he just saw 2 rainbows in the sky.

he just finished meetings for acct and ob projects.

phew.

rushing for vs5 later :D

full day of activities!

10am to 2pm: vc exco meeting (we kept disturbing sue lynn with her "oh my bus is here!")
2pm to 3.30pm: shopping
3.30pm to 6pm: study + day dreaming about becoming our own boss with sam
6pm to 7pm: dinner with sam and nic
7pm to 12am: roam around cafes in orchard, like starbuck, dome, and coffee bean with my marketing mates. :D had so much to eat!!!!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

cannot! your blog is like my favourite link cuz it's the most updated one. HAHHAHAHHAHAHA

Monday, February 23, 2009

i realised i was in school today, and the purpose was to have a 10-min interview for the THM major. BAH.

anyway i went to the dentist just now and he told me "no more nuts!"

bah i am very sad. i had so much pecan at sandy's place on sat. BAH SANDY HOW!?!?!? i think i can eat peanut BUTTER right :D oh man what about walnut and macadamia. :(

haahh ice queen can i link you from my blog. haha don't care. silence means consent :) woohoo ice queen is reading my blog!

okay i am mad.

anyway the ice cream that i made at sandy's house turned out great AGAIN. i bought vanilla ice cream from the mart opp. and then added a few spoonfuls of baileys into it. WOOHOO. too bad the fridge wasn't cold enough if not it would have been a BLAST. :P

i am becoming a PIGLET.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

anyway the security guard uncle asked me:

"why aren't you going for a jog or something?"

i think he's implying something. NAHHHH i am being OVER-SENSITIVE! EAT MORE!!! :D

what we learnt about yesterday during nus choir concert was balancing public relations together with welfare. yup. tough call.

met gim sen and sue lynn today to settle our bank accounts at ocbc. finally it's done after 3 futile attempts. finally had KATONG LAKSA!!!!!! woohoo i live to eat! :D HAHAHA yah TALKED ALOT (of cock)!! like whether the exco and musico should get paid, and whether we should publicise our changing-over of committee on the front page of straits times.

oh this made me realise that i need to get our exco photo from WHOEVER who took it in korea.

Friday, February 20, 2009


strawberries! bread! milk!

finally had some free time to myself today.

yup went for my ict shooting today. OKAY AT LEAST IT'S OVER FOR THIS YEAR.

vc blog is up.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

my tummy is showing.

i should stop eating.

:) DIET!

(i am sure...)

okay on to the giordano case study! :D

oh what's great-est about today was the OB quiz. i totally didn't know what to write. and i thought ob was interesting. that's before the exam questions appear before my eyes...HAHAHA

oh anyway jude promised to send all of us the weblink for the dvd and photos soon! hhahah excited. and jasper added me on msn. HAHHA

been eating at least 4 meals a day. i think it's to work off the stressss...i need to run but there's no one to run with me. i am off-hall already. Sshit...

and boy am i glad i did my accounting tutorial today. WOOHOO!! applause please!

been catching damn alot of movies on my comp during lunches and dinners. HAHA just watched iron man...was watching the longest yard during lunch, big daddy yesterday, and over the hedge. HAHAH all are good movies!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Yu Ye Hua: Blossoms in the Night Rain

am listening to Victoria Chorale's Yu Ye Hua: Blossoms in the Night Rain from 2002.

No wonder we had a CD. VC really sang brilliantly. the ring was glad. together with the blend. i was comparing miao jia in 2002 and in 2007. it was startling how different both songs were performed. HAHA talking about understanding our past. also have been listening to the cd for so many years. however it was only just now did i manage to spot the high descant hum in ang aking bituin at the start of the song. HAHAHHA

i am proud to be the pres of this choir. sometimes i feel abit embarrassed to admit becuz there are just so many things to learn along the way! hahahaha but we are really one big FAMILY OF SINGERS, aren't we? :D

And of cuz, after every phase in life there has to be changes, whether we like it or not. now's the time for VC to change and move on to a better, greater future. :D

need to learn more ob concepts on building teams and resolving conflicts. :)
am glad i did my first set of accounting tutorials this sem! at least i tried~~~

we are all spastic.

we want to work more so that we have a greater sense of affection to something that we have CREATED.

we want to pay more for the brand / price prestige. HAHAH.

i chanced upon an article saying that the ST THOMAS BOYS CHOIR from LEIPZIG will be performing Johann Sebastian Bach’s legacy at the Esplanade Concert Hall. Ticket prices range from S$38 to S$118.

hmmmm why can't vc tickets be as expensive? HAHAHAHAA.
I am sure ours can be. look at our ticket prices in korea. :D 30,000 won to 80,000 won. that's about 40 sing bucks to 100 sing bucks.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

jianhao should stop trying to make everyone like him. REALLY. it's not good.

my parents are the real masters of oral suasion. now my hair sux. HAHAHAHA

no wonder everyone loves sunday. :)

it's a day to clear all your rubbish in the week.

***inserts -> had breakfast with raymond and lip yong on saturday at toa payoh lorong 4!!!! and of cuz, we gossiped like siao la! HAHAH

Thursday, February 12, 2009

post 444 - had a day full of meetings for ob and marketing.

10am - OB meeting
2.30pm - lunch in hall
4.30pm - STATS meeting
6pm - OB MEETING
9.30pm - STATS meeting.

AND here i am.

yes yc...I AM TRYING VERY HARD TO HANG ON LEH. but it's as if i am clinging on to a rubber band which may just snap anytime. i know if i pass through this period everything will be much better and i most certainly would regret it if i didn't get any degree. anyway all these things are making me really forgetful. i totally forgot that my black shoes are at home and my OB presentation's tml. luckily eugene was kind enough to lend me ying guang's shoes! WAH LIAO IF NOT AR....

and to make matters worse the OB case critique, which forms 20% of the semester grade, falls on next tue. and i have yet to study anything about it yet. I WILL DIE VERY SOON. HAHAHAHAHA

and i am going to pon prawning with npc guys on friday to go FAME, if not wensi and steph will kill me. i know. i should be studying. even my mom sounds exasperated drilling that idea into me. i am exasperated too. my it's a matter of my abilities not being able to live up to my expectations. BAH.

ANYWAY I AM DAMN TIRED. SHALL SLEEP EARLY. :)

just before i forget, the blueberry & strawberry shortcake cookies at hall16 canteen rox. :)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

half an hour of badminton did me good! sweat like mad! woohoo!

hahah watching the official cheerleading video. i miss cheerleading ppl!

it must have been a bad afternoon. i opened a can of tuna and i totally can't finish it. i wasn't even hungry. will it go bad if i leave it covered until tml morning? DIE.

alright anyway there comes a point in life when decisions have to be made.

i just don't like numbers. i hate accounting and stats. how. on one hand i need to meet the expectations of my parents and continue to work hard, on the other hand i am really not happy handling all these tutorials and projects shit. ARGH. okay although when i called my mom yesterday to complain she told me that it was okay for me to not study. HAHAHA! i'm sure.

i think it's just that i am such a slacker and i can't take it when i am lagging and i can't study. i just paid for the sem's education and i definitely can't quit! AND I AM LACKING BY 3 TUTORIALS FOR ALL MY MODULES. just watched the stats online lecture 4 (lect 6 is going on now as i type this entry) and it's really boring. i can't imagine myself being an accountant. argh this double-degree thing really sucked. i'd rather be singing and doing things for chorale rather than going to school. but we all know that's not very practical. i have so many things to do for vc, so many dreams to fulfill, but there's no time. everyone is so busy handling school work and stuff. it's really tough. if only i can be paid to sing! hahahahhahahah finding it such a chore to study.
yah and i am totally neglecting all my friends. I AM SO SORRY. just blame me for being stupid in attending university. i can't even go home. :(

blah blah blah. shall skip first 2 hours of the choir elective and STUDY. then after that i will reach nie at 6.30 and then go off at 6.45 to take photos for hall3 table tennis. how zai.

oh friends come find me in my room i think i have some things for u from korea.

OKAY SHALL BE MORE POSITIVE!!!!!! :)
STUDY STUDY STUDY.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

i just received a call from OCEAN BUTTERFLY in the afternoon!!

was containing my joy since then and now i got to blog about it!
i got into the VERY SINGER CLASS!!! WOO HOO!!! yay can get to hear other ppl sing, and also get to learn stuffs like dancing and speaking in public. YAY!

DAMN HAPPY. and i just finished my OB case study. moving on to marketing!

Victoria Chorale Brought the Soul of Music to Seoul

Victoria Chorale, one of Singapore’s most famous youth choirs, has just concluded a successful concert tour to Seoul, South Korea.

At the special invitation of J&A Music, South Korea's largest publisher of choral and orchestral music, Victoria Chorale performed a full-length concert in Seoul on February 3 to an audience of nearly 2000. The theme of the concert revolved around showing off the choir’s diversity in tackling challenging contemporary and sacred Asian and Western choral music. In particular, the choir also showcased music by a local composer, Dr Zechariah Goh Toh Chai.

Said Mr Jude Oh, the manager of the Department of International Performing Arts from J&A Music, “I have been planning this for a year. I am really overjoyed that the concert finally took place and that it has received such critical success.”

The concert entitled Victoria Chorale in Korea had an impressive turnout. In the hope of hearing a culturally diverse repertoire executed by an Olympic Champion Choir, many conductors of prestigious choirs such as Seoul City Choir and Ansan City Choir flew to Seoul from all over Korea to attend the concert. Mr KooChun, the chairman of Korean Federation of Choral Music (KFCM), also graced the event.

Mr Yoon Eui Joong, the conductor of the guest choir, Seoul Master Choral, commended, “Victoria Chorale gave a concert at the most professional level.”

In Singapore, Victoria Chorale is commonly known as the alumni choir of the Victoria Junior College Choir. The fresh, young and rejuvenating sound of the choir J&A Music heard at the World Choir Games 2006 convinced the Korean corporation to invite the choir to perform at the acclaimed Seoul Arts Centre.

Being showered with rave publicity on such a large scale in South Korea is the first for any choir in Singapore’s choral history. Victoria Chorale was featured in a premier Korean publication known as Choir & Organ which reaches out to a strong group of about 2000 choral enthusiasts. The concert was also covered by niche Korean newspaper, Seoul Culture Today. In addition, there was a live webcast and telecast of the concert on Arte TV – a Korean TV Station that plays 24 hours of classical performances. The broadcast of the Victoria Chorale Concert in Korea will also be repeated a further five times this year.

The choir’s resident musical director, Mr Nelson Kwei, was also invited to give a workshop on Southeast Asian choral music at a choral symposium organised by Professor Shin Hua Park from Ewha Womans University. While in Seoul, Victoria Chorale was also invited to perform at a dinner hosted by Mr Chua Thai Keong, Singapore’s Ambassador to South Korea. The choir was then featured on The Korea Times as the Singaporean choir that augured the prosperous 2009.

Mr Nelson Kwei remarked, “This Korea trip and concert has provided us with a brand new perspective on the future direction of Victoria Chorale. Going in the line of becoming a professional choir, being invited to perform in overseas festivals and having the honour to give concerts to an international audience will make us stronger ambassadors of the Singapore choral music.”

Victoria Chorale is grateful for the strong support shown by the National Arts Council, Singapore Tourism Board and People’s Association in making this trip possible.

Monday, February 09, 2009

alright. finally time to blog about korea all i want. :)


I LOVE VC & KOREA
i am just all SMILES thinking about the fun i had with all the great ppl in seoul.


- seoul's freaking cold, and i got to wear as many layers of clothing as i want!


- seoul's really windy too esp during the extension trip. oh well i bathed a LITTLE LESS and got smelly feet the moment we reached dongdaemun. HAHHAHA so i decided to bathe a little more.
- initially caught flu on day one but i recovered with sue's medicine and sandy's liang teh.

- suelynn and i were the tour guides for the trip. MUAHAHAHA

- drank water from convenience marts everyday cuz water is not potable in korea. spent alot of money buying mineral water! hahha


- did pseudo-yoga exercises every morning to warm up the body. some ppl are just very flexible while SOME AREN'T. like me and.... HAHHAHAHA

- went to frasers suite where by the gm of the serviced residence, jerry gan, is the president of the singapore club. he hosted us and took us around for a tour of the apartments.


- went to ewha women's university for a conductor masterclass conducted by nelson and we were the demo choir. saw how conductors get psychomotor problems with 4/4 and 3/4 timings. HAHAH watch out for the video that i took for this event!


- singapore ambassador chua was really nice and he invited us to dinner at the shilla hotel, one of seoul's premier hotels, and we did a mini-performance. oh but i didn't really like networking. HAHHAHAH anyway i am relieved we asked everyone to wear really nice blazers and formal jackets to the event. HAHA!!!! pats shoulders.


- did ironing the night before the concert. thanks to sandy and sam and yc and nelc and minguo for helping out with the ironing! roomie emma was not bad at picking up this essential bachelor skill.


- seoul arts centre is really a great place to sing in. great acoustics, big stage,... we had to sort out our choreos on stage with nelson in the afternoon during the rehearsal and i had to pull a long face at everyone. HAHAH SORRY LA GUYS! i really would rather you get scolded by sue lynn and i than to be scolded by nelson. HAHAH

- the concert itself was ABOVE AVERAGE *quotes nelson. heeheee second half was clearly much better so kudos to the ppl who stayed on for the second half! the hall was quite filled! :D- i really enjoyed the post-concert celebration that we had at the bar near to our co-op residence. the bar belonged to jude's friend so he helped us to book the bar and also ordered food. sue and i went to take a look at the bar the night before and thought that it was really nice! hahhaah yah we had so much fun that night with cass (a korean beer) and soju and fried chicken and omelette and skewers...OH MAN THAT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!!also managed to kapo some korean pop music from the bar owner!!! HAHAHAHAHA best takeaway from the trip!
- jude became drunk that night, and we insisted that he hire a cab to go home. in the end he didn't even listen to us and drove to his office and then had more alcohol before driving home. oh man. he's damn emo that night, telling us how he really treated us like his own family and i really miss him!!!!! he's freaking nice!!!!


- oh my seoul's a food paradise. bulgogi, bibimbap, msg soup, glass noodles, samkiapsai (sam cham ba), cinnamon pancakes, seaweed, soju....OH MY!!!! i just didn't like kimchi at all. AHAHA

- there are lotsa cosmetics shops like face shop, skin food, etude house...got alot as gifts for family and friends as well as for yours truly! :D


- burnt my gloves at a radiator in a cosmetics shop

- shopping at dongdaemun was fantastic. the wholesale market had a really really wide variety of clothings to choose from, it's just that they only sell in bulk. and that's why i couldn't get the tee and belt i want. oh well. we went to another few malls like hello apm and good morning (hhaha weird names i know...) and the service there was much better. the vendors were telling each other that there are 3 singaporeans walking around the mall and better make a hell load of money out of them. HAHA no la there were really nice and took out all the short-sleeve tees that we requested. it's really funny all of them had the same reaction ("OKAY!") and then took out their stack of clothes from underneath the clothes on sale.


- shopping and eating till the wee hours (3/4am) is really common as the stores in dongdaemun are open for nearly 24 hours! that's korean night life for u :)


- had a museum tour planned by jude for the extension ppl. got some really sweet treats over there!!! hahahah


- loves the diary from insadong, the ice cream from myeong dong, strawberries from dongdaemun, the hyundai seaweed from coex mall, and donuts from last minute shopping at the airport.


- i am mesmerised by korean pop music.


- saw this really nice waitress from this fusion food restaurant twice. once at insadong and the next time at myeong dong. HHAH~!! what a coincidence. she was very surprised to see us at myeong dong and immediately blurted our "insadong!". HAHAH


- didn't realise how much a bimbo and himbo siying a.k.a. sally and asik a.k.a. klasik was until the trip. go visit http://www.tralalasally.wordpress.com/


- taxi in seoul is uber cheap. the meter starts at 1900won and doesn't jump until around 10 minutes later. MUAHAHHAH and so we stopped taking the subway. HEEEHEE


- too bad there's no snow.


- boeing777-300ER was really much nicer than boeing777-200. wah liao!!! damn comfy la! and the entertainment was much better. i was busy uploading photos onto my harddrive on the plane with gim sen's and sam's comp. HAHHHA i must have been the busiest passenger on the plane running around every 5 minutes. HAHHA oh the strawberry cheesecake ice cream that sia served was really really nice! must get it again!!! oh but the cheese on sq18 was really good.

- one tiny little regret i have from the trip would be that i didn't get to talk much to some of my fellow vc members....sorry guys can't help it gotta run here and there...HAHAHHAHA

- it's kinda difficult to spot an exceptionally beautiful korean in seoul. wonder why. even plastic surgery and tons of cosmetics don't work very well.

- BUT BUT BUT ---> the korean style of service is very very commendable, and i got alot of namecards from alot of ppl.

- I REALLY LOVE MY KOREAN FRIENDS!!! JUDE, JASPER, JAE HONG, JOE, THE BAR OWNER AND HIS HELPER, they are all DAMN NAISE!!!!!

- and the amount of media coverage we have in korea thanks to jude - appearing live on national tv, featuring in premier korean choral and orchestral magazine and arts paper, radio broadcast and online streaming of our performances. and kiat just showed me a web news article about us at shilla hotel. WAH LIAO! we better work hard for the press release(s) in singapore!!!!

Saturday, February 07, 2009

okay...leaving for singapore tml evening...argh can't bear to leave the cold weather in korea!!!!

okay myeong dong tml morning!!!"D

Friday, January 30, 2009

alright i wasn't feeling too good last wednesday after blogging....actually went to the toilet to puke at midnight. ARGH. worst night in hall.

BUT I AM PERFECTLY FINE NOW! (save the pimple on my nose. HAHAHA)

anyways i think we are almost done with packing. just need to add in abit here and there and we will be flying off tml! :D

JIAYOU VICTORIA CHORALE. :D

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

oh man... how do i do my ob project with a splitting headache...ARGH

anyway during nie choir i got to know augustus and wei qi (the guy from mi lu bing!) HAHAH

i hate being a floater in my tutorial groups...HAIZZ....

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

been slogging for korea the past few weeks, and we are finally going to go there this sat! OMG. however until this moment i still do not have any inkling what korean souvenirs i am going to buy..... DIE. too many ppl know that i am going to korea. HAHHA

almost done with the packing. bought these air-tight bags from daiso yesterday and managed to get abit more luggage space. :) IT'S GOING TO BE DAMN COLD IN KOREA! MAX -7deg!!!

finished my marketing projects slides already. YAY. still waiting for miss jo's reply for my ob project. argh i need to start practising acct and stats. AFTER KOREA PERHAPS :D
DARN acct and stats.

anyway was reading principles of marketing on the train just now and found it to be really interesting. i think i can finish the book in 10 days. :D shall have it for bedtime stories later. OB's interesting too! yay.

anyway i saw feroz on the way back to school and decided to have dinner tgt at macs. on the way back i learnt that i should be less shy about being inquisitive. HAHAHA like if i am blur or if i have a burning question in my mind i should just ask. DON'T BE SHY. :) I AM AN EXTROVERT K!!!!

4 more days to KOREA.

just had this sudden urge to invite everyone over to my house next cny for steamboat. HAHHAHA.

anyway been busy packing. still pondering whether to bring my laptop over to korea, or just upload them onto my email and retrieve them if i need to. :D

i will definitely bring my dslr. i will regret not bringing it. been having lotsa nightmares about arriving somewhere without my camera....HAHHA

5 more days to KOREA!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

yup. a few ppl were wondering why i look unhappy today...well the fact is i really was unhappy. still not very happy with how things unfolded today. like even when ppl said that they really appreciate all that i have done they didn't show it, and instead it's the opposite that happened.
help -> call -> kenna scolding. HAIZ.

yeah just didn't like the feeling at all.

oh well at least i passed my own anger-management tests (yes. PLURAL) today. lotsa unhappy incidents. I wonder when i will explode from all these suppressed feelings...:X

1 MORE WEEK TO KOREA.

EVERYDAY'S A LONG DAY!

Alright! at least i managed to complete quite a few things today.

Only left with Marketing Project's Powerpoint Slides.

VC itinerary, concert plan and profile are almost complete. :D

Friday, January 23, 2009

such a sleepy afternooon....

i am feeling much better now after gulping down the liang tehs and lotsa water yesterday and today. YAY.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

was walking with ben to cant A and guess who we saw?!?!

JANICE! and she's been squatting at hall 3 for the past month and we didn't know it.

HAHAH

WIKIPEDIA is great shit.

i think i have high self-monitoring. don't i? HEEHEE

watched sky high during lunch and the bucket list during dinner. OH MAN the bucket list is REALLY good.

went for midnight fiesta yesterday night. HAHAHA me and my tissue box.

am feeling much better now. THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR CARE AND CONCERN!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

doesn't like being a floater. ARGH. so troublesome organising meetings with 4 different groups.

am having a terrible sorethroat now. no voice at all. just went to see the doc. hope i can recover by tml!

shall sleep early tonight!!!

jianhao must drink more water and sleep more (sleep before 1am also!)

argh. jianhao is confused about some touchy people issues in hall. OH WELL.

jianhao doesn't like to leave things hanging.

jianhao is getting weaker in his studies. pls work hard!

alright i shall go read up on chapter 1 of the acct text. :D

has so many movies but i do not have the time to watch them!

anyway was reading joel's blog just now. maybe i should only speak in english too to beef up the language. okay no more speaking in mandarin or singlish for the entire week. :)

Monday, January 19, 2009

not feeling very happy today. stressed out.

i will prob be happier if there is no homework to do and i can focus 100% on vc.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

once again a very packed day. slept at 3am after talking cock in yf's room...

then woke up at 7 plus to go for 830 OB class, which was not too bad. managed to feel slightly more motivated towards studying.

afterwhich went back hall to pack stuffs and went to ocean butterfly for second round of auditions. then cabbed down to link hotel for tenor dinner treat! hahah the fusion food was not bad. like the laksa and shitake mushroom pastas! :D

then we went to this chillout place at national museum and listened to sugarlove. WOOHOO. they are good.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

jianhao feels that there is no point continuing, but then again, he doesn't want to give up
my to do list is half-cleared. YIPPIE.
focus on vc and school work. JIAYOU

misses cheerleading like everyone else

the emptiness after cheerleading is slowly setting in... bah.
just wanna make a list of my cheerleading members

1. Neville - coach
2. Charlene - our senior flyer who did not fly this year
3. Guo Liang - power base. damn funny when he does spongebob and does the sniffing action
4. Joseph - my fellow swedish four base
5. Richard - uncle!
6. Ying Guang - neighbour from my floor
7. Issac - Mr Ai-Sakku (i-suck) - stays in 3E-02-14. like directly opp mine
8. Melvin - Mr Lam biz mag and cartwheeler.
9. Sheng Le - my tut mate. poor shoulder-standee
10. Yao Feng - neighbour beside my room. mr YF-FM
11. Jamie - Elbow GIRL!
12. Florina - Fluorine's Sister
13. Tze Wing - Swedish Four Flyer + GL's Sniffee
14. Stephanie - neighbour from my block
15. Ethel - neighbour from my block
16. Li Jun - Tang the Tang Tang
17. Jeanne - Sheng Le's roomie's GF. zai dancer
18. Bi Xia - Partner!
19. Kim Min - CAPTAIN!
20. Charmaine - hall princess. Miss EYE-CANDY!

oh i can reach a D#.
shall work hard for korea. help me.